Quote list

Leela: I didn't recognize you with your head all swollen. But it looks better now.
Fry: I guess the blood must have rushed somewhere else.
Careful, Leela! He knows less about Human anatomy than I do. And I can't even find my own uterus!
Philip J. Fry The Tip of the Zoidberg, Volume 6
Zoidberg: And all we need is a little spine supplement to replace what Leela lost in that unavoidable saw mix-up.
Leela: It wasn't unavoidable! You just had to stop cutting my spine when I yelled, "Stop! You're cutting my spine!"
Turanga Leela, John A. Zoidberg The Tip of the Zoidberg, Volume 6
Thank you, Senator. A thoughtful and lucid answer. You will be destroyed!
Morbo Decision 3012, Volume 7
Fry: Yeah, that'll show those poor!
Leela: Why are you cheering, Fry? You're not rich!
Fry: True. But someday I might be rich, and people like me better watch their step!
Leela: Bender, you can't even vote. You're a convicted felon!
Bender: Convicted, sentenced and executed! But Nixon passes a law that says ex-cons can vote again...as long as they vote for Nixon.
He may not be perfect, but do we really want some unknown new guy? I'll stick with the evil maniac I know, thank you.
John A. Zoidberg Decision 3012, Volume 7
We just need to conceal your intelligence and honesty in a hipper, dumber package.
Turanga Leela Decision 3012, Volume 7
You explained his positions in a way even an idiot could understand. And that appealed to me, for whatever reason.
Philip J. Fry Decision 3012, Volume 7
Bender: All right. I'm going to catch Travers on video at this sleazy strip club.
[Inside the Oval Office, with Nixon]
Bender: In and out of the club 13 times in one night. That's a record.
Nixon: Where's Travers? All I see is you going in and out.
Bender: Yeah, me. I set the record.
Bender: Wait...I am a robot named B.B. Rodriguez! So, I become ruler of earth?
Travers: Indeed.
Bender: In your face, high school guidance counselor!
You're making fun of our ship? Your ship is the most beat-up thing I've ever seen, and I've seen Mickey Rourke's head.
Dark matter costs have tripled, so we must reduce expenses. Therefore, we will no longer provide complimentary porno magazines in the lounge.
Farnsworth: But once we free society from dependence on Mom's dark matter, scientists will finally care enough to develop cleaner, alternative fuels.
Fry: Scientists like you!
Farnsworth: No, not me. I'm too busy developing makeup for dogs. That's where the money is.
Fry: Jeez, doesn't that shock collar hurt?
Leela: Actually, feels kind of good. I guess I'm starting to associate it with the pleasure of beating people up.
Mr. Wong: Okay, okay. Come back when New Vegas opens, I give you all free rooms, free dinner and free tickets to Céline Dion.
Bender: Lose the Céline Dion tickets and you got yourself a deal.
Mr. Wong: All right, damnit, done!
All in. Call my mighty bid at your peril.
Wooo! I'm so full of luck, it's shooting out like luck diarrhoea.
It has now been one month since space ripped open like flimsy human skin.

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