Mr. Wong: Okay, okay. Come back when New Vegas opens, I give you all free rooms, free dinner and free tickets to Céline Dion.
Bender: Lose the Céline Dion tickets and you got yourself a deal.
Mr. Wong: All right, damnit, done!

Kif: Um, sir, you're supposed to be cutting the ribbon right now.
Zapp: No matter. I'll simply cut it from here with the ship's laser.
Kif: Sir, I don't think that's wise.
Zapp: Kif, if there's one thing I don't need it's your I-don't-think-that's-wise attitude.

Elzar: Spargle, huh? What he do, bland himself to death?
Bender: No. He was eating some food I made and by a crazy coincidence his stomach exploded. Now I'm here to avenge him.
Elzar: OK, but it seems like you're the one who killed him.

Zapp: I'd like to make one final statement. Kif, c'mere and hold up the flag. And wave it a little, for God's sakes.
My friends, you can take away a man's title and his uniform but you can never take away his integrity or his honour.
Plus it was mostly Kif's fault.
Kif: What?

Leela: You know, Zapp, once I thought you were a big, pompous buffoon. Then I realized that inside you were just a pitiful child. But now I realize that outside that child is a big, pompous buffoon!
Zapp: And which one rocked your world?