Quotes

Fry: My girlfriend had one of those. Actually it wasn't hers, it was her dad's. And she wasn't my girlfriend, she just lived next door and never closed her curtains.
Leela: Fry, remember what we said about ending your stories a sentence earlier?

Leela: Oh, God, not Zapp Brannigan.
Dr. Zoidberg: You know Zapp Brannigan?
Leela: Let's just say we've crossed paths.
Bender: Was that before or after you slept with him?

Leela: Look at all these guys. Do you have any idea what the average length of their reigns was?
Fry: Uhh...... 80,000 years?
Leela: No, one week!
Fry: Damn! I knew you wouldn't have asked unless it was really high or really low.

Bender: There was nothing wrong with that food. The salt level was 10% less than a lethal dose.
Zoidberg: Uh-oh! I shouldn't have had seconds.

Blek's wife: You sure about these chairs? Guidebook says human legs bend down at knee.
Blek: It's OK, Mama. Anyone complains, I bend legs up for free.