Quote list
My fellow Earthicans, we enjoy so much freedom it's almost sickening. We're free to choose which hand our sex-monitoring chip is implanted in. And if we don't want to pay our taxes, why, we're free to spend a weekend with the Pain Monster.
I don't eat bananas. I prefer banana-flavoured energy bars made from tofu.
When I had that there was too much pressure to use it. All I want out of life is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit. That's why I've decided to transfer to business school!
Farnsworth: Good news, everyone. We have a mission to further the noble cause of intergalactic peace.
Bender: Nope. Watching cartoons.
Fry: Sorry.
Bender: Nope. Watching cartoons.
Fry: Sorry.
Zapp: What makes a man turn neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?
Zapp: It was almost the perfect crime, but you forgot one thing: Rock crushes scissors ... but paper covers rock ... and scissors cut paper. Kif, we have a conundrum. Search them for paper, and bring me a rock.
Kif: Um, sir, you're supposed to be cutting the ribbon right now.
Zapp: No matter. I'll simply cut it from here with the ship's laser.
Kif: Sir, I don't think that's wise.
Zapp: Kif, if there's one thing I don't need it's your I-don't-think-that's-wise attitude.
Zapp: No matter. I'll simply cut it from here with the ship's laser.
Kif: Sir, I don't think that's wise.
Zapp: Kif, if there's one thing I don't need it's your I-don't-think-that's-wise attitude.
Glab: The evidence against Zapp Brannigan is strong. However, in light of his years of service, and the incompetence of this hillbilly prosecutor, I'm afraid I must dismiss all charges.
Zapp: I'd like to make one final statement. Kif, c'mere and hold up the flag. And wave it a little, for God's sakes.
My friends, you can take away a man's title and his uniform but you can never take away his integrity or his honour.
Plus it was mostly Kif's fault.
Kif: What?
My friends, you can take away a man's title and his uniform but you can never take away his integrity or his honour.
Plus it was mostly Kif's fault.
Kif: What?
One day a man has everything, the next day he blows up a $400 billion space station and the next day he has nothing.
It makes you think.
It makes you think.
He edged out my old mark by two seconds ... and 16 minutes ... and 12 hours. I do plan to finish someday, Kif.
Hm, words I never say. Oh, I know! "Thanks"!
Well, this is just great! What's the point of living if I can't say "ass"? [He gasps.] Hey, I didn't blow up! Ass, ass, ass, ass, ass! Alright! I'm back in the saddle!
Zapp: So it's you I've been attracted to! Oh, God, I've never been so happy to be beaten up by a woman.
Leela: Let's do it again sometime.
Leela: Let's do it again sometime.
It's the one word the robot uses more than any other. We got it from this convenient database of his 10 most frequently-used words.
Number 10, chump; number 9, chumpette; number 8, yours; number 7, up; number 6, pimpmobile; number 5, bite; number 4, my; number 3, shiny; number 2, daffodil.
And Bender's number one most frequently-uttered word, the word which, if uttered, will blow up this entire planet: Ass.
Number 10, chump; number 9, chumpette; number 8, yours; number 7, up; number 6, pimpmobile; number 5, bite; number 4, my; number 3, shiny; number 2, daffodil.
And Bender's number one most frequently-uttered word, the word which, if uttered, will blow up this entire planet: Ass.
My God, cover yourself. I didn't live a thousand years and travel a quadrillion miles to look at another man's gizmo.
[singing] I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-oh.
A little lower. Lower. Lower. A lot lower. Too low! ... Lower!
Farnsworth: Cygnoids? On our block? Flying foo! They should go back where they came from.
Leela: Professor, please! Society's never gonna make any progress until we all learn to pretend to like each other. Now let's go over there and make these hideous strangers feel welcome.
Leela: Professor, please! Society's never gonna make any progress until we all learn to pretend to like each other. Now let's go over there and make these hideous strangers feel welcome.