Quotes of Hubert J. Farnsworth

Hubert J. Farnsworth

Quotes per season

Prof. Farnsworth: Good news, everyone!
Bender: Uh-oh, I don't like the sound of that.
Prof. Farnsworth: You'll be making a delivery to the planet Trisol.
Bender: Here it comes.
Prof. Farnsworth: A mysterious world in the darkest depths of the Forbidden Zone.
Bender: Thank you and goodnight.
Leela: Uh, Professor, are we even allowed in the Forbidden Zone?
Prof. Farnsworth: Why, of course! It's just a name! Like the Death Zone or the Zone of No Return. All the zones have names like that in the Galaxy of Terror!
Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn't I break his legs?
Hubert J. Farnsworth Mars University, Volume 1
Professor Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! We've got a very special delivery today.
Fry: Who's it going to?
Professor Farnsworth: Me.
Bender: [dusting off hands] Another job well done!
Fry: Very impressive. Back in the 20th century we had no idea there was a university on Mars.
Professor Farnsworth: Well, in those days Mars just was a dreary, uninhabitable wasteland. Much like Utah. But UNLIKE Utah, it was eventually made livable, when the university was founded in 2636.
And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who's gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. The toilet.
Hubert J. Farnsworth I Second That Emotion, Volume 2
Dear God, they'll be killed on our doorstep! And there's no trash pickup until January 3rd.
Farnsworth: Good news, everyone. We have a mission to further the noble cause of intergalactic peace.
Bender: Nope. Watching cartoons.
Fry: Sorry.
Farnsworth: Cygnoids? On our block? Flying foo! They should go back where they came from.
Leela: Professor, please! Society's never gonna make any progress until we all learn to pretend to like each other. Now let's go over there and make these hideous strangers feel welcome.
Professor Farnsworth: Well, since Calculon killed himself, his disembodied software is in limbo, running on the computational cloud. To reclaim it, you'll need to go to Robot Hell and make a deal with the Devil.
Hermes: That doesn't sound very scientific.
Professor Farnsworth: Not to the layman, no. But that's how it works! Leave me alone!
But I'll tell you the same thing they told me: "Stop asking questions, old man, and we'll slip you an extra five grand that your crew doesn't need to know about."
Hubert J. Farnsworth Assie Come Home, Volume 7
Farnsworth: But once we free society from dependence on Mom's dark matter, scientists will finally care enough to develop cleaner, alternative fuels.
Fry: Scientists like you!
Farnsworth: No, not me. I'm too busy developing makeup for dogs. That's where the money is.
Hermes: I will not endanger this crew for some quack remedy.
Farnsworth: Ha! The Sacred Weed of Omicron is a serious herb.
Hermes: Sacred Weed you say? Sweet toke of Ocracoke, this stuff's the Omichronic! To the ship!
Farnsworth: Hey, unless this is a nude love-in, get the hell off my property!
Waterfall Jr.: You can't own property, man.
Farnsworth: I can, but that's because I'm not a penniless hippie.
Hubert J. Farnsworth The Problem with Popplers, Volume 2

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