Volume 2 quotes on Futurama
Top of season
- Zapp Brannigan 13 citations
- Philip J. Fry 10 citations
- Bender Bending Rodríguez 8 citations
- Hubert J. Farnsworth 4 citations
- Turanga Leela 3 citations
And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who's gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. The toilet.
It was almost the perfect crime, but you forgot one thing: Rock crushes scissors ... but paper covers rock ... and scissors cut paper. Kif, we have a conundrum. Search them for paper, and bring me a rock.
Zapp Brannigan: My friends, you can take away a man's title and his uniform but you can never take away his integrity or his honour. Plus it was mostly Kif's fault.
Kif Kroker: What?
Glab: Kif Kroker, you are also stripped of your rank and dishonourably discharged.
Kif Kroker: What?
Glab: Kif Kroker, you are also stripped of your rank and dishonourably discharged.
Leela, save me! And yourself, I guess. And my Banjo. [Fry looks at him.] And Fry.
Zapp Brannigan: Throw her in the brig.
Fry: We don't have a brig.
Zapp Brannigan: Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as "the brig".
Fry: We don't have a brig.
Zapp Brannigan: Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as "the brig".
Zapp Brannigan: Oh Leela! You're the only person I could turn to; you're the only person who ever loved me.
Leela: I never loved you.
Zapp Brannigan: I meant physically. Just let me work for a little food. I could paint a fence, or service you sexually, or mop the floors.
Leela: You don't know how to do any of those things.
Zapp Brannigan: Kif might!
Leela: I never loved you.
Zapp Brannigan: I meant physically. Just let me work for a little food. I could paint a fence, or service you sexually, or mop the floors.
Leela: You don't know how to do any of those things.
Zapp Brannigan: Kif might!
Although, I could get 500 lizards for the same price. Girls like swarms of lizards, right?
Fry: Please let us live! We'll put out milk and cookies for you!
Robot Santa: You dare bribe Santa!? I'm going to shove coal so far up your stocking you'll be coughing up diamonds!
Robot Santa: You dare bribe Santa!? I'm going to shove coal so far up your stocking you'll be coughing up diamonds!
Man: Excuse me, sir, you're snowboarding off the trail.
Bender: Lick my frozen metal ass!
Bender: Lick my frozen metal ass!
Fry: This snow is beautiful. I'm glad global warming never happened.
Leela: Actually, it did. But thank God nuclear winter canceled it out.
Leela: Actually, it did. But thank God nuclear winter canceled it out.
Dear God, they'll be killed on our doorstep! And there's no trash pickup until January 3rd.
Santa Claus Robot: You have all been very naughty! Very naughty indeed! Except you, Dr. Zoidberg. This is for you.
Dr. Zoidberg: A pogo stick!
Dr. Zoidberg: A pogo stick!
Fry: It really puts you in the Christmas mood.
Prof. Farnsworth: What-mas?
Fry: Christmas! You know, X-M-A-S.
Leela: Oh, you mean "Xmas"! You must be using an archaic pronunciation, like when you say "ask" instead of "axe".
Prof. Farnsworth: What-mas?
Fry: Christmas! You know, X-M-A-S.
Leela: Oh, you mean "Xmas"! You must be using an archaic pronunciation, like when you say "ask" instead of "axe".
Fry: My girlfriend had one of those. Actually it wasn't hers, it was her dad's. And she wasn't my girlfriend, she just lived next door and never closed her curtains.
Leela: Fry, remember what we said about ending your stories a sentence earlier?
Leela: Fry, remember what we said about ending your stories a sentence earlier?
Leela: Fry, why are you looking for Flexo in my underpants drawer?
Fry: I didn't find him ten minutes ago, so I thought it was time to check again.
Fry: I didn't find him ten minutes ago, so I thought it was time to check again.
Fry: Bender?! You stole the atom?
Bender: I can explain: It's very valuable.
Flexo: I saw him snatch it while Fry was asleep. That's why I ran to tell Bob Barker.
Fry: Whoa, whoa. Wait a sec. You mean Bender is the evil Bender? I am shocked. Shocked! Well not that shocked.
Bender: I can explain: It's very valuable.
Flexo: I saw him snatch it while Fry was asleep. That's why I ran to tell Bob Barker.
Fry: Whoa, whoa. Wait a sec. You mean Bender is the evil Bender? I am shocked. Shocked! Well not that shocked.
Voice on T.V.: Is today's hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient?
Bender: Shut up and get to the point!
Bender: Shut up and get to the point!
Hey, let's go car shopping! My parents promised if I got all B's they'd buy me a bar, and I got all C's!
Farnsworth: Good news, everyone. We have a mission to further the noble cause of intergalactic peace.
Bender: Nope. Watching cartoons.
Fry: Sorry.
Bender: Nope. Watching cartoons.
Fry: Sorry.
Zapp: What makes a man turn neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?
