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The quotes

John A. Zoidberg
Santa Claus Robot: You have all been very naughty! Very naughty indeed! Except you, Dr. Zoidberg. This is for you.
Dr. Zoidberg: A pogo stick!
Philip J. Fry
Fry: It really puts you in the Christmas mood.
Prof. Farnsworth: What-mas?
Fry: Christmas! You know, X-M-A-S.
Leela: Oh, you mean "Xmas"! You must be using an archaic pronunciation, like when you say "ask" instead of "axe".
Philip J. Fry
Fry: My girlfriend had one of those. Actually it wasn't hers, it was her dad's. And she wasn't my girlfriend, she just lived next door and never closed her curtains.
Leela: Fry, remember what we said about ending your stories a sentence earlier?
Philip J. Fry The Lesser of Two Evils, Volume 2
Philip J. Fry
Leela: Fry, why are you looking for Flexo in my underpants drawer?
Fry: I didn't find him ten minutes ago, so I thought it was time to check again.
Philip J. Fry The Lesser of Two Evils, Volume 2
Philip J. Fry
Fry: Bender?! You stole the atom?
Bender: I can explain: It's very valuable.
Flexo: I saw him snatch it while Fry was asleep. That's why I ran to tell Bob Barker.
Fry: Whoa, whoa. Wait a sec. You mean Bender is the evil Bender? I am shocked. Shocked! Well not that shocked.
Philip J. Fry The Lesser of Two Evils, Volume 2
Bender Bending Rodríguez
Voice on T.V.: Is today's hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient?
Bender: Shut up and get to the point!
Amy Wong
Hey, let's go car shopping! My parents promised if I got all B's they'd buy me a bar, and I got all C's!
Amy Wong Put Your Head on my Shoulders, Volume 2
John A. Zoidberg
Zoidberg: So long. I'm off to toss this old shell in the dumpster and maybe pick up those potato chips Amy didn't finish yesterday.
Amy: Those were toenail clippings.
Zoidberg: A feast is a feast.
John A. Zoidberg Amazon Women in the Mood, Volume 3
Philip J. Fry
Hermes: People, we got a problem: Little Nibbler's been coughing up hairballs.
Leela: Well, so has Fry. What's the big deal?
[Nibbler coughs up a huge one. In amongst the green gloop is a white cane. Fry whistles with impression.]
Fry: He's got me beat!
Zapp Brannigan
Kif, I'm headed to the men's room and I'll be needing an attendant, so-- Oh, I'm sorry. You're crying like a woman.
It's alright. I've always thought myself as a father figure to some of my more pathetic men. Kif, old friend, let's rap.
Zapp Brannigan Amazon Women in the Mood, Volume 3
Zapp Brannigan
I'd like two steaks and the ladies will have some very sensual salads -- with low-cal sensual dressing.
Zapp Brannigan Amazon Women in the Mood, Volume 3
Zapp Brannigan
Kif: Is there nothing we can do, sir?
Zapp: There's only one sure-fire way back into a woman's heart and parts beyond. I speak, of course, of karaoke.
Kif: My years in the DOOP Boys' Chorus will not have been in vain!
Zapp Brannigan
I met her in a club down in old Soho,
Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like Coca-Cola,
C-O-L-A ... Cola.
Zapp Brannigan Amazon Women in the Mood, Volume 3
Zapp Brannigan
Let's see what this eatery can do.
[The restaurant blasts forwards and knocks a few ships away from the car park.]
Ah, she's built like a steakhouse, but she handles like a bistro.
[The restaurant shakes.]
She's out of control! You win again, gravity!
Zapp Brannigan Amazon Women in the Mood, Volume 3
Bender Bending Rodríguez
Zoidberg: Ah! Muy macho! Hey, gringos, here comes El Zoido to ruin your drinking water!
Bender: Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm Mexican and I find that offensive.
Zoidberg: You Latins are so hot-blooded!
Turanga Leela
Thog: This capital city planet Amazonia.
Leela: Where are all the men in your society?
Ornik: Men die out many year ago.
Bender: With all these women around they were probably nagged to death. Are you with me, fellas?
Bender Bending Rodríguez
Thog: This our comedy club. Humour here funny in different way.
Ornik: It not reinforce stereotypes.
Kug: Comedy come from character, real situations. Not abstract craziness.
Bender: Translation: Boring!
Philip J. Fry
Fry: Is she hot?
Thog: That not important. She all-knowing.
Fry: In other words, "No".
Philip J. Fry
Thog: We hear tell men used for snu-snu. But all we have go on are ancient legend and subscription to Cosmo.
Zapp: Just FYI, I could be used for snu-snu.
Thog: Silence. You want die like last men visit Amazonia?
Fry: What'd they die of?
Kug: Crushed pelvises.
Fry: Yes!
Zapp: Oh, thank you, Lord in heaven!
Philip J. Fry
Goodbye, friends. I never thought I would die like this. But I'd always really hoped.
Philip J. Fry Amazon Women in the Mood, Volume 3

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