Quote list

Leela: Bender, why are you spending so much time in the bathroom? Are you jacking on in there?
Bender: [Nervous] No! Don't come in!
Bender Bending Rodríguez Hell Is Other Robots, Volume 1
Fry: Bender, are you alright?
Bender: No! Oh, they tortured me with up-tempo singing and dancing!
Bender Bending Rodríguez Hell Is Other Robots, Volume 1
[After delivering the subpoenas]
Fry: I know Big Vinny said he was giving me the Kiss of Death, but I still think he's gay.
Leela: Did he use his tongue?
Fry: A little.
Philip J. Fry Hell Is Other Robots, Volume 1
Leela: Oh, God, not Zapp Brannigan.
Dr. Zoidberg: You know Zapp Brannigan?
Leela: Let's just say we've crossed paths.
Bender: Was that before or after you slept with him?
Bender Bending Rodríguez A Flight to Remember, Volume 1
Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn't I break his legs?
Hubert J. Farnsworth Mars University, Volume 1
Professor Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! We've got a very special delivery today.
Fry: Who's it going to?
Professor Farnsworth: Me.
Bender: [dusting off hands] Another job well done!
Fry: Very impressive. Back in the 20th century we had no idea there was a university on Mars.
Professor Farnsworth: Well, in those days Mars just was a dreary, uninhabitable wasteland. Much like Utah. But UNLIKE Utah, it was eventually made livable, when the university was founded in 2636.
Not every one turns out like their parents.
I mean, look at me. My folks were honest, hardworking people.
Philip J. Fry Mars University, Volume 1
Space. It seems to go on forever. But then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwin' barrels at you.
Philip J. Fry Space Pilot 3000, Volume 1
And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who's gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. The toilet.
Hubert J. Farnsworth I Second That Emotion, Volume 2
It was almost the perfect crime, but you forgot one thing: Rock crushes scissors ... but paper covers rock ... and scissors cut paper. Kif, we have a conundrum. Search them for paper, and bring me a rock.
Zapp Brannigan Brannigan, Begin Again, Volume 2
Zapp Brannigan: My friends, you can take away a man's title and his uniform but you can never take away his integrity or his honour. Plus it was mostly Kif's fault.
Kif Kroker: What?
Glab: Kif Kroker, you are also stripped of your rank and dishonourably discharged.
Zapp Brannigan Brannigan, Begin Again, Volume 2
Leela, save me! And yourself, I guess. And my Banjo. [Fry looks at him.] And Fry.
Bender Bending Rodríguez Brannigan, Begin Again, Volume 2
Zapp Brannigan: Throw her in the brig.
Fry: We don't have a brig.
Zapp Brannigan: Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as "the brig".
Zapp Brannigan Brannigan, Begin Again, Volume 2
Zapp Brannigan: Oh Leela! You're the only person I could turn to; you're the only person who ever loved me.
Leela: I never loved you.
Zapp Brannigan: I meant physically. Just let me work for a little food. I could paint a fence, or service you sexually, or mop the floors.
Leela: You don't know how to do any of those things.
Zapp Brannigan: Kif might!
Zapp Brannigan Brannigan, Begin Again, Volume 2
Although, I could get 500 lizards for the same price. Girls like swarms of lizards, right?
Philip J. Fry Xmas Story, Volume 2
Fry: Please let us live! We'll put out milk and cookies for you!
Robot Santa: You dare bribe Santa!? I'm going to shove coal so far up your stocking you'll be coughing up diamonds!
Philip J. Fry Xmas Story, Volume 2
Man: Excuse me, sir, you're snowboarding off the trail.
Bender: Lick my frozen metal ass!
Fry: This snow is beautiful. I'm glad global warming never happened.
Leela: Actually, it did. But thank God nuclear winter canceled it out.
Turanga Leela Xmas Story, Volume 2
Dear God, they'll be killed on our doorstep! And there's no trash pickup until January 3rd.

Use of data

We and our partners use different technologies, such as cookies, to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. Use the buttons to agree or decline.