Quotes of Philip J. Fry for season Volume 1

Hello! Pizza delivery for, uh... "I. C. Wiener"?
Oh, crud. I always thought by this point in my life I'd be the one making the crank calls.

Philip J. Fry Space Pilot 3000, Volume 1

Here's to another lousy millennium.

Philip J. Fry Space Pilot 3000, Volume 1

Fry: Whoa… a real live robot! Or is that some kind of cheesy New Year's costume?
Bender: Bite my shiny metal ass.
Fry: It doesn't look so shiny to me.
Bender: Shinier than yours, meatbag.

Philip J. Fry, Bender Bending Rodríguez Space Pilot 3000, Volume 1

Leela: Fry, we have a crate to deliver.
Fry: Well, let's just dump it in the sewer and say we delivered it.
Bender: Too much work. Let's burn it and say we dumped it in the sewer.

Philip J. Fry, Turanga Leela, Bender Bending Rodríguez The Series Has Landed, Volume 1

Leela: Look at all these guys. Do you have any idea what the average length of their reigns was?
Fry: Uhh...... 80,000 years?
Leela: No, one week!
Fry: Damn! I knew you wouldn't have asked unless it was really high or really low.

Philip J. Fry My Three Suns, Volume 1

Fry: That was the saltiest thing I ever tasted! And I once ate a big heaping bowl of salt!

Philip J. Fry My Three Suns, Volume 1

Fry: Now that you mention it, I do have trouble breathing underwater sometimes. I'll take the gills.
Organ Salesman: Yes, gills. Then, uh, you don't need lungs anymore, is right?
Fry: Can't imagine why I would.
Organ Salesman: Lie down on table. I take lungs now, gills come next week.

Philip J. Fry My Three Suns, Volume 1

Fry: Hey, you have no right to criticize the 20th century. We gave the world the light bulb, the steam boat and the cotton gin.
Leela: Those things are all from the 19th century.
Fry: Yeah, well, they probably just copied us.

Philip J. Fry A Big Piece of Garbage, Volume 1

[The Planet Express crew has watched an online movie about the solution to the garbage problem in New York.]
Fry: Wow, you got that off the Internet? In my day, the Internet was only used to download pornography.
Professor Farnsworth: Actually, that's still true.
[In the movie.]
Female Scientist: Now that the garbage ball is in space, Doctor, perhaps you can help me with my sexual inhibitions?
Male Scientist: With gusto. [The two scientists begin disrobing.]

Philip J. Fry A Big Piece of Garbage, Volume 1

[After delivering the subpoenas]
Fry: I know Big Vinny said he was giving me the Kiss of Death, but I still think he's gay.
Leela: Did he use his tongue?
Fry: A little.

Philip J. Fry Hell Is Other Robots, Volume 1

Professor Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! We've got a very special delivery today.
Fry: Who's it going to?
Professor Farnsworth: Me.
Bender: [dusting off hands] Another job well done!

Philip J. Fry, Hubert J. Farnsworth Mars University, Volume 1

Fry: Very impressive. Back in the 20th century we had no idea there was a university on Mars.
Professor Farnsworth: Well, in those days Mars just was a dreary, uninhabitable wasteland. Much like Utah. But UNLIKE Utah, it was eventually made livable, when the university was founded in 2636.

Philip J. Fry, Hubert J. Farnsworth Mars University, Volume 1

Not every one turns out like their parents.
I mean, look at me. My folks were honest, hardworking people.

Philip J. Fry Mars University, Volume 1

Space. It seems to go on forever. But then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwin' barrels at you.

Philip J. Fry Space Pilot 3000, Volume 1

Bender: You're my best friend, Fry, I'm sorry I treated you so badly.
Fry: Apology accepted. After all, you're only human.

Philip J. Fry, Bender Bending Rodríguez I, Roommate, Volume 1

Fry: Man, it's a total sty! For the first time in a thousand years, I feel like I'm home.
Bender: Yeah! It's gonna be fun on the bun! Y'know, Fry, of all the friends I've had, you're the first.

Philip J. Fry, Bender Bending Rodríguez I, Roommate, Volume 1

Fry: I'm sorry, Bender, but there's just not enough room.
Bender: Not enough room? My place is two cubic meters and we only take up 1.5 cubic meters. We've got room for a-whole-another two-thirds of a person.

Philip J. Fry, Bender Bending Rodríguez I, Roommate, Volume 1

Bender: [sleep talking] Kill all humans ... kill all humans ... must kill all the humans.
Fry: Bender, wake up!
[He wakes up and yawns.]
Bender: I was having the most wonderful dream. I think you were in it.

Philip J. Fry, Bender Bending Rodríguez I, Roommate, Volume 1

Hermes: Fry, mon, if you're going to be living in the office you could at least be on time for work.
Fry: I'm sorry. I was up really late poking through people's desks.

Philip J. Fry, Hermes Conrad I, Roommate, Volume 1

Leela: What the hell are you doing? You're getting a huge dose of radiation!
Fry: And great lift!
Leela: Do you know how long it's going to take me to recalibrate these engines?
Fry: Hey! When you look this good, you don't have to know anything.

Philip J. Fry, Turanga Leela I, Roommate, Volume 1

Quotes of Philip J. Fry for season Volume 1

Quotes per season